Remembering mum

My childhood was a long time ago, and my memory isn’t that great. But a couple of notable events stand out.

I must have been 8 or 9, about the age that Dal is now, when I learned a few new words at school. I won’t repeat them here of course. But you’ve probably all heard the usual threat about bad language at home: “I’ll wash your mouth out with soap!” Apparently no one told mum it was meant to be a metaphor. So when I let one of these new words loose, she hauled me off to the bathroom and literally shoved soap in my mouth. I think she felt a bit embarrassed about it looking back. Somewhat later, in my early teens, mum somehow convinced me that she could read my mind. Not in the normal way of “oh it’s like she knows what I’m thinking”. For years I actually believed she had ESP. I put it down to me watching too much trashy television like In Search Of and Twilight Zone in the early 80s.

I’m on slightly stronger footing with memories of the last twenty years. And what I remember from 20 years ago is that mum had pretty much given up hope of ever seeing grandchildren. Then just before the turn of the century, Jo and I were able to share exciting news with her: grandchild #1 was on the way! There was just one small complication… we were living in the USA at the time. So at the ripe old age of 72, mum began making plans for a solo trip across the world. It must have been pretty intimidating for her, but she made it to Atlanta in March of 2000.

The baby wasn’t quite ready to meet her, so we grabbed the opportunity to take mum on a tour of the south-eastern United States, searching out interesting sculptures that she had read about. I remember in particular she was keen to visit the Civitas statues of Rock Hill, SC. These were sculpted by Audrey Flack, and designed as a female version of Michelangelo’s “David”. A suitably feminist take on the usual civic monument, which had obviously piqued mum’s interest. After our return to Atlanta Kian duly made his appearance, with both mum and Jo’s mother in attendance. It was a pretty emotional time for everyone, and I think for mum in particular it brought her back to her early experiences with child birth, and our stillborn eldest sister Lily. Since we took so long to get around to having kids, she may not have had the energy to be the active part of all three grandkids’ lives that she would have wanted. But she was always keen to spend time with them, read stories, and look after them at her own place in Yarra St and Portarlington, so Jo and I could sneak out for dinner.

I don’t need to repeat what John has said about her talents as a mother, but I will add that she was definitely in the top two grandmothers I could have wished for for my children.

Thank you.